My home birth in the pandemic
(October 2020)
When my husband and I talk about our youngest daughter’s birth, we describe it as amazing, incredible, empowering. I grin from ear to ear when I think about her birth and my heart swells with pride and love. I’m so grateful to have had that experience, particularly during a really difficult time to be a pregnant woman, or any person really.
Moments after my daughter was born
Being pregnant during the Covid 19 Pandemic wasn't much fun a lot of the time. Like many people, I attended all three ultrasound scans on my own. I was terrified going into the 12 week scan in case they told me bad news without my husband there. At my 20 week scan I found out we were expecting a girl and I practically ran (well, walked quicker than normal) back to the car to tell my husband and 3 year old daughter (who already knew she was having a sister btw).
I wanted a home birth with my first baby but we transferred into hospital and she was born there (more on that another day). Second time round, I was even more sure I wanted to birth at home, especially because we were in the midst of the Covid-19 Pandemic and hospital was the last place I wanted to be. But at my second midwife appointment I was told the home birth service had been withdrawn due to “pandemic-related restrictions”. I was gutted. I had weeks of feeling stressed and anxious, as I'm sure many others did too, but in the end I was one of the lucky ones as my daughter was born during a time when restrictions were more relaxed. My heart still breaks for all the people who gave birth during the height of the pandemic alone, scared, and often traumatised.
How it started…
One week past my Estimated Due Date, and the day before my daughter was born I saw my midwife in the morning and requested that she do a membrane sweep (a "stretch and sweep"). I went home and played football in the garden with my 3 year old daughter and saw my osteopath in the afternoon. I had some fairly strong contraction-like-sensations throughout the day. They continued around 3 an hour through the night and were strong enough to wake me but I breathed through them and went straight back to sleep assuming it was just Braxton Hicks…
We got up in the morning and went downstairs for breakfast as usual, but at about 8am my husband tentatively said he thought he should phone my mum and dad to come and get our 3 year old. Initially I said no it’s too soon but then I realised I was having to stop eating/talking to breathe through the sensations...hmm maybe this really is it?? I was feeling it all in my lower abdomen, like a seriously intense and painful menstrual cramp. My husband asked my parents to pick up our daughter in an hour or so by which time I was in the bath with epsom salts and lavender, chilling out, breathing through the sensations, and trying to remind myself of my affirmations - I can do this, my body was made to give birth, I'm going to meet my baby soon.
I had decided I wanted to ignore labour for as long as possible and carry on with what I would normally be doing until I couldn't any longer. So after the bath I did my usual routine - make up, hair, getting dressed. I took one last photo of my beautiful bump.
Last bump pic 8 hours before baby was born
My husband made me a nest in the living room so I lay there on my left side sandwiched between our duvet, breathing and relaxing. At 11ish my husband phoned Tricia, our doula, and she arrived within the hour. The contractions had been coming every 6-8 minutes lasting just over a minute at this point but Tricia suggested we stop timing them as it can become a distraction, so that’s what we did. She sat down with her book, quietly watching and timing. I remember her asking "Is that another one already?" and realising wow this really is it.
If you buy yourself one gift during pregnancy - make it a Doula
I stayed on my side for a while as I felt like the contractions were more productive in this position - longer, stronger and more consistent. At some stage though Tricia gently suggested changing to a more upright position. I was hesitant but moved to my knees, leaning over the couch. The contractions were instantly stronger but less regular. I really had to dig deep, concentrating on my breath. Tricia had a hunch that baby wasn't quite in the right position which would explain the irregular contractions so she and my husband used the Rebozo to "shake the apples" to help with positioning.
Things ramped up within a couple of hours. I was moaning and groaning through contractions, using my voice to help me get through each one. Those deep primal sounds that people make in labour vibrate the vocal chords which in turn can help to soften and open the cervix.
By 2pm, my husband got to work setting the pool up and called the midwives. The water felt amazing and it was great to feel the weight of my bump lifted. The midwives arrived about 15 minutes after I sank into the pool - they got the entonox up and running and set out all their equipment on the dining table. Lead Midwife Sophie introduced herself and told me she'd read my birth plan and understood I wanted minimal monitoring. She was very respectful and asked if it was okay to do an initial set of observations - my blood pressure/temperature and baby's heartbeat. I agreed and all was well.
My Midwife and Doula supporting me
Fear Tension Pain
The gas and air really helped; not so much taking the pain away altogether because it didn't, but it gave me something to focus on and really work with my breath. There were plenty of moments I lost focus and fear inevitably crept in but my husband and doula held me, emotionally and physically. My midwife gave words of encouragement whenever she was in the room but mostly the midwives stayed away only popping through to check on me and listen to baby's heart rate (if they could do it without me changing position - as per my birth plan).
At some point the pain of contractions moved from my lower abdomen to my back and hips. It was one of the things I was most worried about because the pain I felt in my back and hips during my first daughter’s birth was terrifying. I know now that my first baby was back to back which is why the pain was so intense and it turns out this baby was too for a while - but this time I wasn’t frightened so labour didn’t come to a halt.
I realised I was using all my efforts to put pressure on my hips to help with the pain so I asked my husband to help me. It was tricky for him trying to lean over into the pool without falling in head first, so our doula asked what we thought about him getting in the pool. “Yes”, I said “that's exactly what I need!”. I lay back onto his chest, feeling his support both physically and emotionally. He squeezed my hips with all his might during every single contraction and whispered words of encouragement in my ear to keep going.
A moment of calm between contractions
Stop resisting it!
A little while passed and my doula told me (quite firmly for Tricia!) to stop resisting it. Her doula instincts were spot on. I had a word with myself and invited my baby to come on out. She topped up the pool with hot water and then her Spidey Senses triumphed again when she said she thought we needed some time alone.
Within minutes of us having that privacy my waters broke with an almighty force! I was propelled backwards into my husbands chest and we both heard the ‘POP’ as they went. It was like a huge pressure release and I instantly felt the baby's head in the birth canal, moving down with every contraction, my body pushing without me consciously doing anything.
It seems counterintuitive because we are told to stay upright and forward-leaning during labour but I was in a reclined position, leaning back into my husband. I was listening to my body and because I was floating in the water there was no pressure on my coccyx which needs to be able to shift as the baby moves down through the birth canal.
Within minutes the midwife told me she could see my baby's head (“I see dark hair!”). A few minutes more and baby was beginning to crown. I put my hand on her head. It felt so strange touching her head.
One of my biggest fears was tearing, especially because I didn't want to go into hospital for stitches. My midwife was amazing and knew from my birth plan that I wanted to be coached through the final moments to minimise the risk. Slowly, slowly she talked me through it and then the sheer relief when baby’s head was out and the burning sensation stopped. A couple of contractions later and the rest of baby’s body was out. Just seven minutes after my waters broke, my baby was born.
“I did it! I did it!”
In the early evening of the wettest day on record in the UK my midwife caught my baby in the water and passed her to me. Through tears of joy and relief I said "I did it! I did it! I can't believe I did it. Hello wee baby". Baby looked around, had a tiny wee cry and fell asleep in my arms. We stayed in the water for a few minutes, taking her in.
When the cord stopped pulsating it was clamped and my husband cut it. Baby was passed to the midwife to be weighed and checked over while I, shaking with adrenaline, gingerly climbed out of the pool and down into a nest of cushions on the kitchen floor to be checked over for tears, assess bleeding and to deliver the placenta. I chose a managed third phase and the placenta was out within a few minutes. I had only a graze so no stitches required and normal blood loss.
Listen, I know the tea and toast on the maternity ward is second to none but having your doula make you tea and toast in your own kitchen 15 minutes after you’ve given birth is out of this world incredible.
Tricia - thank you
While I was getting checked over I remember Tricia asking me if she could hold my baby so that she wasn’t lying on the scales on her own (the midwives were both confirming my blood loss and checking the placenta was complete, my husband was getting changed after being in the pool with me). She cuddled my daughter close to keep her feeling warm, safe and loved. Even nearly two years later, I tear up when I think of this moment and the compassion Tricia showed for my baby.
My wonderful doula and friend was instrumental in supporting me to have the birth of my dreams and I will never be able to thank her enough; I know my husband feels the same. The work she did with us to prepare for birth, addressing fears and self-limiting beliefs, and the sessions to release any trauma we held on to from our first daughter’s birth (using Birth Rewind Therapy) was powerful beyond words. She supported us every step of the way. She even took photos and filmed the moment our daughter was born which I will treasure forever.
Tricia is an Anxiety and Trauma Coach, Advanced EFT Practitioner and runs incredible programmes that support people to overcome anxiety, stress and overwhelm. She is passionate about helping parents live their best life - you can find out more on her website.
Snuggled on my sofa within 45 minutes
Life-changing memories
Once I was dressed and baby was checked over and weighed (8lbs 1oz - a fair bit bigger than her sister who was a dinky 6lbs 13oz) we moved to the living room and snuggled up on the couch for skin to skin and a glass of prosecco. Within 45 minutes of giving birth, I was on my own couch, nursing my beautiful newborn baby, raising a toast with my wonderful husband. Another hour after that, I was snuggled up in my own bed. It was a day I will never forget, for all the right reasons.
Go to my FREE Pregnancy Resources to see my actual Birth Plan and download my Birth Plan Template to create your own.
